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Are you a child who comes from a divorced household? Did you associate fear of divorce with marriage? Are you currently in a season of strife within your marriage? If you answered yes to any of these then I’ve got an episode for you.
When looking for the #1 all time episode, there was no shock when the statistics showed that the two-part interview discussing divorce are the two most downloaded episodes. In this episode, I interview Dan Yeazel and learn about the agreement he and his wife built the foundation of their marriage on, divorce is never an option. Listen to their story here.
Their driving force? Not wanting their kids to grow up seeing the things they did, not wanting their family to struggle with the implications of divorce. They desperately wanted to prevent their children from enduring what they did growing up. For Dan and his wife, when they agreed to get married, they also agreed divorce would never be mentioned.
“We walked into this marriage knowing and committing that divorce would never be on the table.”
Not giving their marriage the option of divorce provided stability within their relationship, they both understood from minute one that divorce would never be an option, therefore it was not a lurking fear in the back of their minds. Marriage is hard and struggle is inevitable. Hard times will hit your marriage whether you’re ready or not (let’s be honest, no one is ever ready), but it’s where you find stability during those hard times that matters. It is easy to isolate during marital problems, to feel ashamed or embarrassed, to not know where to turn. However, it is during times like these that the power of God is undeniable.
Building your relationship through God can help the struggle not feel so lonely. Not allowing divorce be an option in their marriage, as Dan shares, forced them to work through the uncomfortable, the painful, the things that are - more often than not - easily ignored. A marriage like this is “the Biblical model, is what God intended,” however, as Dan notes, “society has made it easy to get out. If I’m not feeling satisfied or you’re not meeting my needs, then I’m going to move on, find it somewhere else.” BUT, here’s the thing. You will not find that anywhere else. What you are looking for can ONLY be found within God. Nobody is perfect and when imperfect people marry, the only way for that marriage to truly flourish is with God in the center.
The best advice Dan shares to the stability of his marriage is seen in James 1:19, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger” because, as Dan shares, “you can apologize but you can’t take those words back.” Words hurt, harsh words are unforgettable and neither your partner nor your marriage deserves that.
“God wants our families to stay together. Take a stand for your marriage!”
So, for the one who comes from a divorced household, the one afraid of divorce, and the one in their season of struggle within their marriage, here’s three things that can help you today:
Turn to God. Have you prayed over your current situation? Have you asked God for guidance and strength? If not, let’s start to refocus ourselves to the one who is capable of all.
Don’t allow divorce. Do not allow it to be mentioned within your marriage, don’t use it as a backup option. You can only truly begin to flourish if you give yourself no other option.
Lean on a friend. Time and time again on this podcast we have come to realize that so many of us are dealing with the same problems but are ashamed or embarrassed to talk about it. Speak with a friend, a pastor, a family member, let them share some advice. You never know, they might just have the Bible verse and similar story you didn’t know you needed to hear.
Do you feel paralyzed by any of these steps? If so, you're in good company. Your marriage may be as bad as mine was and oh boy, do I have some helpful free guides and courses for you. Check them out here.
The reality is, your marriage is worth fighting for. Believe what God has to say, He wants our families to stay together. The fight for your marriage is always worth fighting for.
Listen to the interview here to hear everything about marriage, the different roles between man and woman within marriage, and the ways in which turning to God can change everything for the better. The advice Dan shares is full of encouragement for you and your marriage.
Love Always,
Amanda