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  • Writer's pictureJeremy Perea

What if my Husband is NOT the Spiritual Leader?

I've heard sooo many women complain about this issue: What if my Husband is not leading us spiritually? This can be an overwhelming mental load. I'm sure you often wonder, will he ever change?

In this episode, I finished up my interview with Melody. Melody shares some GREAT insights on this topic, and THE best marriage challenge- its a game changer!

I know it's wearing you down but consider this perspective: You would never imagine giving up on your children, would you? You wake up each day willing to give them another chance, no matter how many times they color on your walls, spill crumbs all over the couch, or drop the juice on your new rug.

Each day you wake up and allow them to start over, try again.

So why aren’t we doing that in our marriage? Why do we not offer our spouse, our partner, our other half the same forgiveness we offer everyone else?

Now I know what you’re thinking, my spouse is doing a whole lot more than spilling a few crumbs. But guess what, it’s all the same. Each day the Lord gives you a fresh start no matter what yesterday held, always willing to forgive and help you move on. It’s time to start offering your spouse some forgiveness and a fresh start each morning.

I get that it's a heavy load to carry but the truth is you’re not meant to take on everything. You’re meant to give it to the Lord. Sit with Him. Pray with Him. Seek Him. and listen to how our incredible guest, Melody Jacobs, navigated this season in her own marriage.

Melody offers insight from experience. When she first married her husband, he was an atheist. She shares exactly what she did and how she viewed it. For Melody, she grew up in a house that was built in the Lord’s foundation. When she was a teenager, she found herself walking away from the Lord. She was gone for seven years! Within that time period, she met her husband, got married, and they fought constantly. They were “too broke to get divorced,” as Melody says.

It was then that Melody told her husband “good luck!” one day while he was walking out the door and she felt the Holy Spirit clearly tell her, “You’ll tell your husband good luck but you won’t pray for Him?” And, as she says,

“All of Heaven fell in her house”

That was immediately when she decided she was going back to the Lord, working to live a life worthy of Him each day. Her husband, however, was angry. He DID NOT believe in Jesus. It was through God that Melody found the grace and strength she needed to deal with her husband’s anger. Through the help of her patience, intentionality, and constant prayer over her husband that his heart started to change. He gave his life to the Lord pretty quick after her.

However, after they were both saved, their problems didn’t magically disappear. They struggled HARD. She found herself comparing her husband and being full of anger. Critical talk invites shame into your marriage and will ruin and rot your marriage. You need to be a safe place for your spouse. Don’t. Be. Critical.

When reflecting on her biggest fights with her husband, she remembers her true feelings… Click here to read the rest of the article and 3 things you can implement today that will start turning your marriage around.

Reflecting on the hardest points of marriage helps everyone understand the hardships they are facing are VALID. Marriage is the roller coaster of life. But, as Melody says, there is a place of faith that does take two to reach. Love is a choice. Both you and your partner have to yield to the Lord and work to stay one for the entirety of your marriage. Instead of allowing you and your partner to fall apart, you must lay down – at times – your right to be right. You need to anchor into what the Lord says and move towards that. The redemption from the Lord will allow your marriage to be better than it ever has been.

You have to be legalistic. Intentional. Willing to fight.

Allow the Lord to be the breath of life within your marriage.

The Lord is Faithful.

However, even with their struggles, they were no longer alone in these struggles. With Jesus by their side, they knew they could conquer the comparison, critical talk, and everything else that was clouding their marriage.

So, are you looking to strengthen your marriage? Here’s 3 things you can do TODAY to start:

  1. Invest in your spouse. Invest in them wholeheartedly. Cheer them on, stand by them, strengthen them when they feel weak.

  2. Pray. Take a step back, pray over what is plaguing your heart, THEN sit down to talk about it. Remember, use “I” speech. “I feel…”

  3. Don’t be so critical! Praise over tear down. Each day your compliment more than you criticize.

So, for the one looking to strengthen their marriage, the one wanting to build-up their spouse, and the one searching for ways to allow the Lord to breathe in their life, this episode is for you.

Listen to the episode here. Remember, an intentional heart and mind can strengthen those around you.

Love Always,


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