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  • Writer's pictureAmanda Borrego

Time to Throw Away Your Back-up Plan

Our guest this week shares that being married young was only the beginning of the obstacles they faced. For her, she always felt as though she needed a “back-up plan.” It wasn’t until about 10 years into their marriage that she had to give it all to the Lord and confront her back-up plan. From then on, her entire mindset around her marriage changed.

The thing is, for anyone who comes from divorced parents, there tends to be this idea that they need a back-up plan. A safety net, if you will. A way to not get hurt.

The motivator for this is almost always to protect themself from hurt. But the reality is, you will never ensure complete protection from pain. Your greatest form of protection comes from the Lord.

Your back-up plan is hurting you and your spouse.

Do you feel as though your marriage has seen as many trials as it possibly can? Do you feel frustration in your marriage, sometimes not even knowing where it's coming from? Do you have a “back-up plan” for your marriage?

In this week’s episode I interview Melody Jacobs. A mother of five who is passionate about her marriage, her kids, and seeing women find their potential. We talk all things marriage and what having a “back-up plan” is actually doing to you.

Married for 25 years, Melody and her husband are overflowing with wisdom to share. High school sweethearts, they got married at a young age. When I asked Melody if there was ever a time in her marriage when she didn’t think it’d work out, she replied “yes!”

This week I encourage you to check yourself, do you have a back-up plan for your marriage? Does your spouse? Sometimes the reality is that this back-up plan is in the subconscious. There’s a subconscious need to protect and, until you confront it, your marriage will never reach its full potential.

God is big enough to change your heart, your spouse’s heart, and your marriage. The best thing you can do is align yourself with who the Lord wants you to be. If you do this, when trouble comes in – which it will – you will be centered and unshakeable.

By making it clear you do not have a back-up plan you are bringing stability to your marriage, your household, and even you.

So, what are some practical things we can do to start understanding what a relationship with God at the center looks like? Here’s two steps to focus on this week.

  1. Turn to your Bible. Get some quiet time with Jesus. Even if you read one verse a day, you will start to see a change. Not sure what verses to turn to? Check out my instagram reels where I share 3 verses a week. Click here to watch last weeks!

  2. Pray over your husband. View him as the Lord does. Pray over him how the Lord would pray over him. How you view your spouse should be intentional and once you make an effort towards that, things will visibly change.

In short, align yourself and partner with Jesus on how you view your spouse. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, 5 minutes a day - when you shower, get ready, or sit in the car in the pick-up line. 5 minutes can entirely alter your mindset and perception.

“Love is not love without a choice. Everyone has their free will.”

So, for the one who feels as though their marriage has seen as many trials as it possibly could have. For the one feeling frustration in their marriage, and the one feeling the need for a back-up plan, I want you to pause for a moment and realize something. Your marriage has made it through 100% of its hardest days. You and your spouse, even after the hardest trials, are still standing. I want to encourage you, as Melody says, to hang on to God and say no to doing it the world's way. It won’t be easy but believing what the Lord says will allow God to bring you through to the other side. Let the Lord be the breath of life within your marriage.

Listen to the episode here. Remember, keep seeking. Keep working. Keep praying. Your marriage can make it.

Love Always,


P.S. If you feel like this advice is hard to take on because of how bad your marriage is, check out our free giveaway:

"How to Deal with a Spouse who is Tearing your Marriage Apart"

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