How to Parent your Difficult Child...
Have you ever felt like your kids are tone deaf to what you say? Like it goes in one ear and out the other? Or do you ever feel like you are doing what is in the best interest of your kids but they assume you are just out to get them?
I remember once I got to college I thought I was so cool and finally free of my parents strict rules only to be more homesick than I ever knew was possible! Another thing that stands out to me about those early months of being on my own, was how grateful I became for that strict upbringing I so despised. I was far from perfect but I didn’t fall as quickly into the temptations that my peers were falling into and I didn’t fall so hard for some of those traps. I remember writing my parents a letter and said “I am so sorry for giving you guys are hard time in raising me, I want to thank you for the way you raised me, thank you for being strict with me.”
I feel like often all of my efforts with my kids are a waste… they aren’t going to remember anything I tell them anyways right? I remember having very selective hearing with my parents when I was younger (and now 😆)
I know it can be exhausting and its easy to throw your hands up and allow yourself to believe that, but its a lie strait from the pits of H.E. double hockey sticks!
Listen to my interview with Vince Torres where he reminds us to have faith! He shares:
I think that when we look at wayward children who are raised right yet pursue their own way, I immediately think of the story in scripture of the prodigal son. He was someone who was raised by a loving, loving father but ultimately decided: hey, I want to do my own thing and I want to go my own way. The beautiful thing that I love about the story of the prodigal son is that he does come back home! Proverbs 22:6 says ‘train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it’. Yet sometimes we think if I (raise my kids right) then my kid will never depart from it. But that’s not with the scripture says, it actually says that when he is old he will not depart from it. One of the things that I love to hear are stories of wayward children who where raised in godly homes by godly loving parents and they decide like the prodigal son to go into the world, but after a while, just like him, they realize that not only have they sinned against their parents but it says that the son realized he had sinned against God and he runs back home! And his father is waiting for him with open arms, and not even waiting actually running to him! It’s that loving father that creates such a beautiful picture of the relationship that we have with our Heavenly Father.
I just want to encourage those of you parents out there who may have some wayward children right now and maybe not living the life that you would hope they would’ve lived. I don’t have the numbers in front of me but I read an article recently and it was talking about how statistically many children, after tasting what the world has to offer, do you eventually come back to what they fundamentally know to be true and those beliefs, those truths are now being created and built even earlier earlier in life. In fact, there was a study that recently released this study that I thought was particularly impactful and that was that a child’s worldview is basically form by the time they’re 13 years old. (Listen to more about this study in our interview here)
So those of your parents with with young children, I know sometimes it seems like they are not listening. I have two little ones and it seems like they’re not paying attention, it seems like they’re ignoring us, it seems like they are not really keen on what mom and dad are having to say but trust me they are sponges they are soaking all of that in. For good or for bad, they are listening they are taking it all in. So be encouraged that the inference that you have over your kids is so strong. Don’t give up even when they pass those formative years, and become teenagers which can be very difficult. I have friends who are going through that right now. Just keeping investing and loving on them. And believe with the scripture says that if we train them up in the way that they should go, when they’re old they will not depart from it and those that do will ultimately come back home.”
For our free guide "7 Lessons I learned from my elders" go HERE!
This chat with Vince was so incredibly encouraging! I hope that any parents listening right now who feel like their kids are off track would find so much hope in this message. I recently shared a story about how ive realized the power of prayer in my own life and I shared a little story about that on the past episode so go listen to that here. I just wanna encourage you parents to get your hopes up, focus your prayer and and and have faith that they will return and we can hold onto these promises in the Bible. I love how Vince pointed that out, that if we raise them a certain way it doesn’t mean that the Bible does it tell us that they won’t necessarily mean they will never go through a hard time in their life but it does promise that they will come back and I love that so much.
Check out the full interview with Vince Torres and I HERE
Make it the best day ever, Amanda